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One way of spending Easter
I had an unfortunate occurrence, one night on preparing for bed,
What I saw in the toilet on flushing wasn’t brown or yellow but red.
I hoped it was caused by our dinner and gave too many blueberries the blame
But alas when I woke in the morning, what I saw in the loo looked the same
I finished my tea very quickly, and called me a cab that would zoom
As fast as it could to the doorway of the Chalmers emergency room.
Now I’ve heard in the past of examples of folks with extensive delay
But whence they had heard of my symptoms, they said you come in right away.
I was placed on a bed near the entry, and told to wait for a doc
He was there in a matter of minutes, I nearly passed out from the shock.
He said we will find Dr Pawluk to see what he thinks we should do
He’s around and he has some experience of the innermost workings of you.
In the meantime we would like a sample so if you find that you need to go
Use at the loo at the end of the passage and leave it all there as a show
What they meant was that they would see it instead of me pressing the flush
To confirm what I’d said at admission when I came into the place in a rush
Anxious of course to be helpful, I set out for the suggested door.
But alas I was weak as a kitten, and passed out and fell to the floor.
It was clearly a minor disaster, I caused a significant flood
But not of oil or of water, but purely my secondhand blood
Four sets of hands reached to raise me, but alas the problem still flowed,
And sadly the they chose to transport me, on a seat that was just a commode
Any person tracking my journey , would find quite easy to meet
For the commode they used to transport me, had no potty under the seat.
So on a new couch they did place me I admit I was rather a mess
And three tender ladies together proceeded to make me undress.
With sponges and cloths they all cleaned me, washed me and then towelled me dry
A difficult moment to live through for a married man really quite shy.
As they set up their tubes and devices, for wherever my treatment would go
They said it’s a waste demonstration, we believed you already, you know.
So they wheeled me away through the building, to the place where they insert the scope
To find out the source of the bleeding, but admitted there was not much hope.
A very much shorter procedure than the ones I had previously had
They gave up quite soon after starting, visibility being that bad
So now I rest quiet and peaceful, idly typing this song
With hopes for release in the morning, but we still do not know what went wrong.

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