Australia, part one

Way back in years, when we were young,and generally light hearted
We showed up an altar to say we’d not be parted,
Some older so called wiser heads said back in the past
They’re far too young to marry, the wedding cannot last.
The honey moon was quite a change, the wife was made to cook
For the husband’s fellow students at whom she had a look
A Pakistani was the first, an Indian and a Turk
An Iraqui and Nigerian who shared her husband’s work,
A geophysics field trip as complex as could be,
While Tim was doing surveys to get his MSc
And Sheila was the cooking star, her dishes all were taken
Though diets were a little strange, marmalade with bacon.
Sheila fully qualified, in Stourbridge went to teach
While Tim worked on his thesis just within his reach.
We had a flat in Birmingham on the bottom floor
With access to a garden, who could have asked for more
My brother came to visit together with his wife
Wed a year before us but now attached for life
I fear I have to tell you they did not like our house
When Sylvia discovered their couch contained a mouse.

With studying and teaching we were somewhat perplexed
As to what would happen later, where would we go next.
Should we stay in Britain or should we take the chance
Of travelling together on some wilder global dance.
Our job search was a brief one, our request was not a failure
I was offered a position to go out to Australia..
In these days such a journey would get you there by plane
In a cramped and stuffy cabin, 30 hours of pain
But this was in the old days before that came to pass.
They put us on a liner, and booked us as first class.
Three weeks of fancy menus and lots of fancy wine
Paid for by our dining friend working for the line.
Most of the first class cabins were taked by the old
The rich and also famous, thats what we were told
The few of us, much younger were by social leaders trained
To take part in activities to keep old ones entertained.
Sheila starred in deck quoits, but then got a surprise
She was playing with an Indian and told it was unwise
Tim used his fastest bowling in a match against the crew
And brought them to submission an experience quite new
It brought an invitation for when we got to shore
To try out for a major club which would be quite score.
The vessel docked in Melbourne, they met us at the quay
And took us to hotel for a day or two or three
We had only just arrived and still not unpacked our cases
When a pen pal of Sheila’s took us to the races.
Explaining thatb the nation for the day would be shut up
While everyone was listening to hear the Melbourne Cup.
We went there in a fancy car with cool conditioned air,
It appeared this girl’s father was indeed a millionaire
He also had horse to race that he assured me had to win
So I should make a wager unless it was a sin
We watched them race all afternoon, sweating in the sun
Waiting for the moment he said his horse would run.
The time arrived they all set out, racing round the track
And from the start to finish his horse was at the back
Returning to our residence his excuses he expounds
It seems his loss was quite a lot, about ten thousand pounds

In Melbourne town there was another,
Sheila’s step mothers brother
And through his efforts we soon found
A place where we could go to ground.
While our search took off apace
To buy ourselves a living space
Estate agents were so slick
We bought a house but far too quick.
The place in which we would remain
An hour from town by crowded train
But then quite soon we thought that maybe
We were going to have a baby.

Christmas time was coming and we could cry hooray
And move into our residence just on Boxing Day
At Christmas time down under some rules must be obeyed
Like eating roasted turkey at a hundred in the shade.
And for a pregnant Sheila this one thing I must say
Was a challenge that she had to face upon that Christmas Day.
Step uncle came in early to take us in his car
Where everyone was gathered it wasn’t very far,
Then women to the kitchen and cook the dinner there
Men back to vehicle and to the pub for beer.
We came back for our mealtime, the turkey and plum pud
With all those women working, no wonder it was good.
After lunch there was a toast offered by our kindly host
Saying welcome to Gods Own country sport,
and we suppressed a rude retort.
When the meal was over things went a little far
Women did the washing up, the men back to the bar.
We came back in at tea time after all that beer
And Sheila mumbled to me “get me out of here”
She’d held up pretty well so far but as we closed the door
She said thank God its over, I can’t take any more.
She said it very clearly, she said it with some force
And I knew a repetition would lead to a divorce.

On Boxing Day our things arrived as we had planned ahead
The temperature was 105, Sheila stayed in bed.

Things would change within the month, the new year underway.
We went off to Tasmania for my first seismic survey.
As it was only one state off the rules said, this is true
If you travel for a month, your wife can travel too.
So while spent my time encamped beside a mountain peak
Sheila stayed in sad hotel in infamous Mole Creek.
The daily rate was reasonable it could have been much more,
But then they might have cleaned off all the blood stains on her door
Her daily walks through Tassy bush revealed some native life
Like Platypi, and parrots, a pleasure for my wife.
We kept in touch by radio, with a Flying Doctor set
Which had one tricky consequence we can not forget
Because I was transmitting from up 4000 feet
My transmissions were quite clearly heard by the local fishing fleet,
A response came, glad you love her, nice to hear your views
But we tuned in not to hear from you but for the weather news.

This trip would soon be over and we’d go back again
To our nest in Carrum, our second trip by plane
I go back to the office to try to get a grip
Of all the things I meant to know before a future trip.
This time its to Queensland, and that’s two States away
I’ll have to leave my pregnant wife at home where she must stay.
I’m sure she’ll find some neighbours to chat while I’m not there
Like the football players wife and the cow that strays quite near
And the guy who lives two doors away fought at Gallipoli
He also was the hangman, but at least he has TV
We didn’t have a car back then, but Sheila learned to drive
Going to a driving school to learn how to survive.
It was from the Police Station that she passed her driving test
And almost clipped another car before she came to rest.
She had a pack of Brownies entrusted to her care.
And she met with them weekly, her experience to share.
Normally the meetings were an hour, not more
But one was much extended by a deadly snake, parked outside the door
Another day the meeting ended quite differently than planned
When some very windy weather got completely out of hand.
They had to leave the building, they really could not stay,
They fled into their parents cars before it blew away