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It’s those squirrels again

March 25, 2020

If you wonder how I know I am a householder, here’s proof
I suffer from a malady called squirrels in the roof.
My wife has told me clearly that she gets a nasty feeling
If she hears the sounds of scuttering squirrel inside her bedroom ceiling.
For once throughout the winter the little dears were quiet
But now that spring is with us, they have begun to riot.
Upstairs a few days a go I heard a noise quite blinding,
As if someone with a chainsaw through the house was grinding,
And then I recognised the sound as I stood beneath
It was simply a cacophony of chattering rodent teeth.
Our step ladder is always parked behind a bedroom door
Ready for occasions we have to use it for
By emptying the wardrobe where Sheila kept her clothes
I can get roof access organised without too many oaths.
I climb the ladder cautiously and then I use my head
To open up the trap door with just a touch of dread
I hope its just the squirrels and I’ll confirm it soon
I wouldn’t want to frighten a skunk or a raccoon.
When the trap is open. I use a torch to scan
The space above the ceiling as quickly as I can.
No critters are observable but I can see the trap
The cage that has a door that falls with a gentle snap
But nothing is inside , except a little smear
Of peanut butter Is put in sometime in last year.
Something seems to me awry, it seems I cannot tell
The peanut butter is still there it lack its normal smell
I realise the problem, I now know what’s required.
I’ll need more peanut butter the sell by dates expired.

Meanwhile there’s no problem, I know where the focus is

They`re outside in the garden, eating all the crocuses.

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