It is May 8, 2020. Seventy five years since the war in Europe ended. We have seen the old news reels, heard the old speeches and heard Vera Lynn sing “We’ll Meet Again” again, for those of my generation, we also have our own memories of those momentous days when the war came to an end. My home was in the London suburbs, not a particularly popular target for the Luftwaffe, but still subject to bombing by planes that were lost or avoiding the greater flak risk of central London. Like most of the hoses in our neighbourhood we had received significant damage
for the bombing and the V1s and V2s, and by May 1945 there were already builders and decorators at work repairing the damage, paid I presume by the Government. In our house all the interior ceilings were cracked and need to be replaced. This meant that plasterboard replaced the plaster and lath construction that had previously been there. This in turn meant that there was a large amount of discarded wood around, not only from our house, but others on the street. It was decided to have a neighbourhood bonfire to celebrate the end of the war in Europe. Using a hand cart a mass of combustibles was collected and take to a vacant site just down the road. A scarecrow type reproduction of Hitler was hung from a telegraph pole outside our house, with a message on a sheet of paper pinned to his chest, it read “mit me 7:30, watch me burn 7:45″. At 7:30 we duly processed down the road with the neighbours and a magnificent blaze ensued. I have no doubt that the adults carried on a more alcoholic celebration later that night but it would have been after my bedtime.
VJ day came 3 months later, I remember that I was playing with a Meccano set in the living room with the radio on when the announcement came through. I remember going into the kitchen and asking my mother if now that the war was ended would my father still have to go to work! I was a little naive back then.
Back in the days pre Covid, we all would gather round
And over cups of coffee discuss what we had found.
Or in the bar just after work exchange our current views
On weather, personalities and what’s featured on the news.
We had a chance behind our hands to wonder if its true
What Mr X with Mrs Y were rumored wont to do.
Expressing fears that love affairs might just be going on
Not simply sharing training for some future marathon.
But that we are all locked up, at least six feet apart
How can such information we legally impart
Alas the times are changing and sadly it is said
As a victim of the virus gossip is now dead.
As old age crept up on us we sometimes felt forlorn
And lazy so we hired someone to maintain our lawn.
The mowing was just part of it, there was another thing
A fall clean up to remove the leaves, and one in the spring.
The past two years the clean up failed to happen in the fall
When falling snow submerged the leaves in early winter pall.
The clean up crew arrived this week, fulfilled their task, hooray!
Here in time to beat the snow that just arrived today.
We all now know that Covid can do more than make you sick
It creates some other problems that you have to lick
Before they over take you with troubles unresolved
These other complications must be swiftly solved.
I’ll give you an example, hand washing 50 times a day
Creates demand for drying in a fast efficient way.
We decided that paper towels could solve the problem best
And then addressed the problem where the roll of towels should rest.
We parked them by the toilet, while we thought what we should do
They solved themselves the problem . They fell into the loo.
Supplies of paper towels now are not simply found
So we must resuscitate the roll that had been drowned.
Carefully unwrapping the wet and soggy sheets
I hung them over chairs upon the backs and on the seats.
This morning they were all dried out, and despite my many fears
None were stuck on seriously to any of the chairs.
I still don’t have a handy place for storing them, meanwhile
I’ll leave them on a chair seat in a tall untidy pile
Maundy Thursday, the day before Good Friday, 20 centimetres of snow forecast for tonight and tomorrow.
So we went shopping at 8:15 am.
There was a socially distanced line up out side the supermarket, so I joined it so that my wife did not have to wait outside. After 20 minutes I was at the front of the queue, and she went into the store.
Knowing that there was a limit to how long my wife can tolerate shopping, I returned to the back of the lineup, so that I could relieve her after a while. This time it was 25 minutes before I got to the front of the line, washed my hands as instructed, put on my face mask,(a very pretty one made from, a pair of socks), and went in search of her.
As all the shopping aisles are one way only, it took me a while to find her, she had half the shopping done, but unfortunately a rather small cart.
I took over, and then had to wait a while for a very slow male shopper to change his mind frequently, thus delaying every one else.
I tried to be clever and bypass him, but found myself trying to go in the wrong direction down an aisle to the horror of other shoppers.
With the small cart it became rather hazardous to add extra items, but I managed to balance the eggs safely.
Finally I collected most of the items on the list and headed for the socially isolated line up for the check out.
Not wishing to repeat last week’s experience, when I had to sort out the pile of groceries myself, I succumbed to buying bags so that they would be packed for me.
All was run through and the time came to pay the computer screen said I had spent $509.15. I did not believe it and insisted on it being checked.
There was an item called groceries with a price of $300, where it should have been a pound of pears. They made the correction, and I got the pears for free.
It was 9:45 am, one and a half hours from the beginning
“Stay at home” leaves time to clean
Parts of home seen and unseen
The couch was there upon my list
Of jobs that I had long-time missed
Beneath the cushions, what surprise
Awaited there before my eyes
Pens and pencils, lady bird,
Paper, leaves and most absurd
In dust and sand were ten dried peas
Were they all carried in by fleas?
Did Tim and I eat supper there
And kiss, so we both dropped a share?
Or did the cleaners just for fun
Put them in there one by one?
The answer we may never know.
I’ll water them so they can gr
“Stay at home” leaves time to clean
Parts of home seen and unseen
The couch was there upon my list
Of jobs that I had long-time missed
Beneath the cushions, what surprise
Awaited there before my eyes
Pens and pencils, lady bird,
Paper, leaves and most absurd
In dust and sand were ten dried peas
Were they all carried in by fleas?
Did Tim and I eat supper there
And kiss, so we both dropped a share?
Or did the cleaners just for fun
Put them in there one by one?
The answer we may never know.
I’ll water them so they can grow.
Sheila- for a change!
On Friday I went shopping with my wife to buy supplies
Of food and such necessities on which one’s life relies
We used the supermarket nearest to our door
We understand the layout we’ve both been there before.
We parked the car as usual and then saw something new
The store door was not open, outside there was a queue.
The folks used social distancing carefully spread apart
And when the door was opened some movement could start
My wife does not like standing long so I went out to wait
So she could then replace me at my turn at the gate.
She then received instructions as to what she had to do
To follow all the arrows and ensuring bags were new
It was really quite confusing, going place to place
In the right direction, leaving proper space.
She was gone for 30 minutes so I then went in too
To takeover the shopping cart the least that I could do.
I finished up the shopping we’d carefully made a list.
With just some little extras, I could not resist.
The line up for the check out was clearly organised
I got there fairly quickly, pleasantly surprised.
Once the guy had scanned things he left them on the shelf
He told me that the bags I had I had to fill myself
So I just had to do it, it took a little while
To fill the bags with groceries from one unsorted pile.
And then there came the moment at which I had to pay
The bill was such that I hope now we won’t return till May
In the throes of isolation being urged to stay at home,
And limited when going out as to how far you can roam.
Shopping for necessities, you have to have supplies
And if you do it carefully, take some exercise.
So how then do we compensate for what we cannot do?
We try communication by systems, to us, new.
It started when a daughter a real computer whiz
Invited us and siblings to do a family quiz.
The inevitable consequence, a new toy in the room
We had to get instructions to log us in to Zoom.
The happy smiling faces of the young now we would see,
A contrast to my puzzled face just staring back at me
But things worked out better than they had earlier been
When they and not my own face stared back from my screen.
We all logged on, I think that’s right, its what you’re meant to say
And faced up to the challenge and entered in the fray.
She showed a set of pictures and we had to try
To see what people in them we could identify.
The answers were displayed on screen and not by voice
Selected from a set of four so you could make a choice.
The process seemed so simple, an easy way of sharing
But now all the children know the sloppy clothes I’m wearing
If you wonder how I know I am a householder, here’s proof
I suffer from a malady called squirrels in the roof.
My wife has told me clearly that she gets a nasty feeling
If she hears the sounds of scuttering squirrel inside her bedroom ceiling.
For once throughout the winter the little dears were quiet
But now that spring is with us, they have begun to riot.
Upstairs a few days a go I heard a noise quite blinding,
As if someone with a chainsaw through the house was grinding,
And then I recognised the sound as I stood beneath
It was simply a cacophony of chattering rodent teeth.
Our step ladder is always parked behind a bedroom door
Ready for occasions we have to use it for
By emptying the wardrobe where Sheila kept her clothes
I can get roof access organised without too many oaths.
I climb the ladder cautiously and then I use my head
To open up the trap door with just a touch of dread
I hope its just the squirrels and I’ll confirm it soon
I wouldn’t want to frighten a skunk or a raccoon.
When the trap is open. I use a torch to scan
The space above the ceiling as quickly as I can.
No critters are observable but I can see the trap
The cage that has a door that falls with a gentle snap
But nothing is inside , except a little smear
Of peanut butter Is put in sometime in last year.
Something seems to me awry, it seems I cannot tell
The peanut butter is still there it lack its normal smell
I realise the problem, I now know what’s required.
I’ll need more peanut butter the sell by dates expired.
Meanwhile there’s no problem, I know where the focus is
They`re outside in the garden, eating all the crocuses.
In 1925 my mother was a student at the Godolphin and Latimer School in London, she used to “train” at the sports ground of the Battersea Polytechnic annual sports meet. Very tactlessly she won the Victor Ludorum by winning several events including the long jump as shown. This picture was published in The Times the following day, and she never lived it down.
Her victory was protested as she was not a student at the Polytechnic, but was allowed to stand as she had been permitted to enter. The costume she is wearing for the event is a little different from what you would see on a lady long jumper today. As far as I know she never kept up with athletics herself, but her husband was a long distance runner when she met him, so maybe she ran after him, but history does not tell me if that is true.
She would be very proud of the athletic achievements of her grand children.
muffinandbagels 